groupiedrifter | Inbox for ximilia.

[It's a few hours before the party is supposed to begin on Christmas Eve. Clara shows up at Newt's room carrying a wrapped gift. It's best to get it to him now, before she slips into her role as hostess and winds up bustling about the next two days.]

I thought you were the sort who'd want to get their gift early.

[She teases as he opens the door, holding out the box for him to take. It's a box she has to hold in both of her hands, and if he's the sort to give it a shake he'll hear a few items jostling around inside.]

Do you mind if I come in?

[She wants to be there when he opens it.

Inside the box are a couple of drawings. One is of him, sketched when she first picked up the habit one night while she was hanging out with him in the labs. They had just sat around listening to music while he worked that night, and she had taken to studying him and trying to commit his every detail to memory. It's how she sees him, strong and brilliant, and one of the brightest lights on the station. There's musical notes and periodic symbols, stars and little monsters drawn all around him on the page. He's her favorite rock star, monster loving scientist and she wants him to know that someone out there sees him as being very cool.

The other piece of paper is smaller, but has a poorly drawn version of a tattoo. There's a note written on the bottom of that page.

Next opportunity there is, we're getting matching tattoos. Thought I also might get this one, so I can always be reminded of reaching across the stars to find you. If I could, I'd take your hand and we'd run away and never look back. After everything we've been through, you're more than just a friend. More than sex to let off some steam. You're seared onto my heart, part of my family. And I don't mind marking my body with something permanent, because it'll always remind me of you.

I love you, Newt. Always.

- Clara

Also in the box is a big bag of sweets that she made herself, just for him to enjoy. There's also a little stuffed Godzilla doll for him to put up someplace. Hopefully it makes him smile and laugh when times get tough.]

[He more than happily takes the present, especially now that he's feeling... mostly normal again. In fact, the only signs here that anything's changed is the large new bottle of medication on his nightstand. As much as he'd like to be mature about getting a gift instead of looking like a kid scooting up to a Christmas tree... he's Newt, and it's just not gonna happen, so he happily collects the gift and gives it a careful little shake.]

Seriously? I'll always take an early present! Time's fake anyway. Come on in! [He's gonna give her hers later of course, but until then — time to dive in! He rips open the paper on the outside and grins with starry-eyed glee at the Godzilla doll.] Gee, how'd you guess I love big radioactive lizards.

[... Oh, but after the sweets and doll, there's the drawing, and then the note — and that picture of that tattoo, and his smile softens into something far sappier. Ugh, Clara. Ugh! You know he's gonna get all teary if you're not careful. He's not good at being in an emotional situation without crying about it.

But he manages enough to sniff, and look at her with fondness.]

You mean it?

... I mean — getting the tattoo.

[And everything else, too.

He's a sucker for reassurance, turns out.]

[Part of why she loves him so much is the fact he can be so childish. It used to remind her of the Doctor, but now she sees his unique youthful energy as belonging strictly to him. It's a piece of innocence he's managed to retain, and she's determined to keep that with him for as long as possible.

It's awkward to stand there and watch him so closely as he goes through the phases of emotion while opening her gift. She wants to interject and apologize for doing too much, for saying too much in her letter. But then he's talking before she can, and she's left moving in to cup both of his cheeks in her hands. She has to be careful with her arm that's still wrapped in bandages, and the second her skin comes in contact with his, she also has to ignore the strange unsettled feeling that starts coursing through her.

Trying to set that aside, she presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth.]

Of course I meant it about the tattoo. And everything else, too. Every single word.

[She never minds giving him all the reassurances he needs.]

[Newt's always been desperate for that validation from others — his father and uncle love him, yeah, but what about other people in his life? The Geiszlers pretty much have to love him, because that kind of love is unconditional. But other people? Oh, to be wanted and loved and appreciated. He looks absolutely struck with love by the notion that Clara is someone else who seems to love him unconditionally, too, and it's enough to make him get all teary-eyed.

She loves him! And that means maybe other people love him, too!

How cool is that????

When he looks at her after the kiss, he looks a fool in his ooey-gooey emotions, but it's whatever. Time to ramble at her while not collapsing in an almost comical puddle on the floor over his revelations.]

... I love you, too, Clara! I totally want matching tattoos, and — S-sorry, wow, I'm just...! I-it's been a long month, huh? Holy shit, this Godzilla is like hugging a cloud. Did you feel this thing? I love it. Oh, man, I swear I'm not drunk; I cut back a ton!

[There's a lot going on right now. He's teary eyed and looking full of emotions, and he's doing that thing where he talks fast and tries to squeeze in as much as possible in a single breath.

She reaches out and presses a finger to his mouth, trying to get him to stop rambling.]

First off, you better cut back a lot more than that. I won't have your kidneys giving out on you anytime soon. Second, this month has been ridiculously long for all of us. And lastly -

[She pauses, laughing and shaking her head. He sometimes is too much for even her to keep up with.]

We'll have to pick out just the right tattoo on our next mission. Something small. [She pinches her fingers together.]

Something small! Promise, it won't be the size of a brick or something. Just a little tattoo!

[He laughs softly as he tries to side-step her finger before it can stop him. He's still a bit wet-eyed as he collects the godzilla back into his arms and sits down at the edge of his bed, running his fingers across the new fuzzy exterior of the plush. Boy, if something can send him back into being a disgruntled 10-year-old...

Whatever. Boring people are completely adult. It's so tacky to be mature, if you ask him.

... Ha.

There's something defeated in the way his shoulders sag, like something's crossed his mind, something he can't very well shake off.]

Yeah... It's definitely been a long month, huh? Not gonna lie, I've been dying to empty out the alcohol cabinets now that I'm a free man.

But eggnog'll do the trick.

[She watches him as he sits at his bed, hugging his stuffed animal like he's just a boy. There's still a vague, nagging feeling in the back of her head. It's strange how it pops up when she's around him. There's absolutely no reason that she should feel that, and yet it's subtly there, nagging at her all the same.

She ignores it, smiling as she goes over to sit next to him.]

I'm sure a mission is just around the corner. The orb won't want to keep us idle for too long.

[The words are meant to be reassuring, but she's aware he'll pick up on the fact they're really meant to tell herself that everything is going to be just fine. He's clearly bothered by something, and it upsets her that she hasn't been able to be there for him the way she ought to. But there's nothing better than a mission to distract them both and bring them together. They make a good team when they work together.]

[His expression flickers, uncertainty bleeding into something more determined.]

Right. I won't let you and the others down, either.

I'll be at 100% again for it, promise.

[She probably isn't saying anything about his reliability... but it's a genuine concern. He doesn't want to be the weirdo who has all these issues; he wants to be of use, just like he was the Science Guy for the PPDC with Hermann. He has to matter, has to prove himself and his worth. The thought of people considering him a liability in any way is almost scarier than collapsing in the hallway convulsing.]

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